i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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