Are we in a gay sports bar?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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