pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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