He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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