Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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