Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
