Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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