maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize