Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
