she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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