Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
