Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
