just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
