Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
