This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
