Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
