Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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