BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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