just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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