Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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