It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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