He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
