Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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