i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
