marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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