did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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