I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
