I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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