I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
The power of my boobs compel you
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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