Sry I called you an 8
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
