this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
