Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
