You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Ketchup is God's man juice
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
organizing the empties. That sober.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
