Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
