So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
