even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
