needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
