I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
