Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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