why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
