Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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