you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
