doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
what day is it and did you see me today?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
