i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
