i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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