I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
