Where did you get a picture of my penis
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
