i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
