after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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