well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
