So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
