i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
