its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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