Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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