Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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