he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
