At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
