Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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