o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
