new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
